In 2017, I made one of the most important decisions of my life: to marry my then-girlfriend, who is now my lovely wife. But let me be honest with you: I was confused and afraid. My circumstances didn’t look right. My finances made marriage feel impossible. It seemed like a mountain I couldn’t climb.
In that confusion, I spoke to my big brother. I told him, “I want to marry, but I no get money right now.” To my surprise, he burst out laughing. Then he said something that shifted my perspective completely:
“You don’t need money to get married; all you need is a plan.”
That truth sank deep. And now, looking back, I know he was absolutely right.
The Misconception of Money and Marriage
Too often, young men believe they must have everything figured out financially before they can marry. Many become fixated on the wedding ceremony, the clothes, the cars, the food and the decorations, forgetting something bigger: the ceremony is only a day, but marriage is for a lifetime.
Don’t get me wrong. A beautiful celebration is wonderful. But it is not the essence. What matters most is starting right, with the right mindset and the right foundation.
Why Marriage Matters
From my own journey, I can boldly say this: marriage is a good thing. Life is too difficult to walk alone. Having a partner by your side makes the journey not only bearable but meaningful. But you must start right.
Here are my thoughts for every young man considering marriage:
1. Be in Eden (The Presence)
As a man, your greatest asset is not your bank account but your relationship with God and your sense of purpose. Before Adam ever received Eve, he was placed in Eden, in the presence of God. That presence and clarity of purpose form the foundation for everything you will do in life and marriage.
2. Start with the Why
Ask yourself: Why do I want to get married? Go deeper than loneliness or societal pressure. Your reasons must align with your life goals and calling. If not, you may find yourself lost once the excitement of the ceremony fades.
3. Choose a Partner, Not Just a Wife
The woman you marry is more than a companion. She is a partner in destiny. She should agree with your direction in life, believe in God’s plan for you, and, of course, be beautiful in your eyes. But remember this: beauty fades, while trust, faith, and partnership will carry you through life’s storms.
4. Make a Checklist
Practical steps matter. Write down the things you need to put in place before marriage. For example:
• Renting a simple space to start life together.
• Reading books that prepare you for marriage.
• Talking openly about finances, values, and family expectations.
This keeps you grounded and reduces the fear that comes with uncertainty.
5. Walk at Your Own Pace
Remember, you are not in competition with anyone. Move at your own pace. Don’t measure your journey by someone else’s wedding photos or lifestyle. Walk with wisdom, not pressure. This mindset lightens the burden of responsibility and allows you to grow steadily as a couple.
Final Thoughts
Young brother, don’t let fear stop you from making one of the best decisions of your life. You don’t need to have it all figured out, and you don’t need to be a millionaire before you marry. What you need is a plan, God’s presence, a clear purpose, and the right partner by your side.
Marriage is not just about starting a family. It is about building a life together. And the best time to start is when your heart is ready, not when your pocket is full.
